I certainly hadn't meant to offend him when I called his attitude racist any more than he'd meant to annoy me when he expressed said attitude, but the battle lines had been drawn.
He wasn't entirely unsuccessful in his attempt to defend himself.
My first instinct was to ask why he would live in a country where he wasn't attracted to the people, but I'd already met his longtime partner, so I figured that hooking up with the locals wasn't a priority.
People's tastes, like their preferences, aren't necessarily static, as anyone who grew up hating ice cream (or broccoli) but likes it as an adult knows.Sure, we have no control over what we're attracted to, but we can control whether we see people as individuals or merely as belonging to groups that are determined by ethnicity and race.And does rigid adherence in your head to a supposed "preference" (which, as expressed, often sounds more like a rule: "I don't date ") become almost self-fulfilling in practice, to the point of exclusion?I love going on walks and checking out all the stuff happening down town. "I don't find Asian men attractive." I didn't say it."Racist" is the operative word to describe someone who would exclude someone from housing, from jobs, from sex, from love, based on ethnicity.